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		The Adventures of K:      Online Dater Extraordinaire
			Installment #7:  Can’t Start A Fire Without A Spark
	As our dating quest continues, friends, I keep turning one question over and over in my mind:  What’s the Spark?  Dating sites are huge on sparks.  One of the first questions that the online dating industry asks you is: How important is it that you feel a spark between you and your partner?  Of course, this is multiple choice, so you can answer: 1) Very important - spark should fly right away 2) Somewhat important - sparks should be there after the first few dates 3) Not very important - sparks will develop over time 4) Not important at all. Ummmmm, how about I have no idea.  Why is that never an option.  Let’s start with the obvious.  What is the definition of "spark"?  It is "an ignited or fiery particle such as is thrown off by burning wood or any electric arc of relatively small energy content."  I am not sure that is what they meant. So what do they mean?  I asked around and found that everyone seemed to come up short on an actual definition.  Is it an immediate attraction physical and/or emotional?  Or maybe a hunch that maybe this person will not be a total waste of time.  Perhaps it is finding a person who has the same interests and passions?  Am I supposed to be on the look out for sparks on a first date?  Where should I be looking...the eyes maybe, or the lips????  How do I know the difference between a spark and the extra shot of Grey Goose in my martini?  Some people tell me that I will know it when I feel it, but I tend to discount that kind of condescending crap.  But it does make me think…  Do my friends who have 'the one," have they felt this spark and not told me about it?  Was it something that they have been keeping from me during these important years of development- like mucus plugs (don’t ask)?  Is this one of those things that only people with "the one" experience?  When they meet other happy couples, do they wink with approval at meeting someone else who has experienced "the spark" and is in "the club"?  I feel ostracized already and I am not even sure from what!  I have had some great relationship and I have had some crap ones.  There have been ones that started with intense physical attraction (spark?) and then fizzled.  There have been some that have started on mutual interests and passions (spark?) and ended up in lasting friendship.  And of course there have been those that started out as a mixture of all of those things and more (sparks?) and ended in screaming, tears, and pure sadness. Perhaps in the end, the spark is just something else that we have devised to bring us closer, at least in theory, to finding "the one."  Maybe it is just that one thing we can not put our finger on.  I am not sure if I believe in "the spark" just yet, but the more I go down this road, the more I get the sense that in the end the real spark might just be the realization that you have found the one person who will save you from going it alone. Oh, and for your enjoyment, below are a few folks who have provided a shout-out for the almighty SPARK! Tori Amos Alice Cooper Bruce Springsteen The Roots Joni Mitchell Widespread Panic Elvis Costello Cypress Hill The Flaming Lips XOXOXO K