I M C o n v o s

Rooker: i want you to be my myspace friend. Ash: what??  ARE YOU ON MYSPACE???? Rooker: well, i'm not "on" my space. Rooker: i don't have pictures or clever things to say. Rooker: but i have 3 friends. Rooker: DO. NOT. JUDGE. ME. Ash: OH, YOU'RE JUDGED Rooker: it's just TOOOO intriguing to stalk people i haven't seen in yeeeeears..... Rooker: are you public? or private? Ash: i'm not ON IT Ash: it's not what i would call OKAY

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Anon: that, and i want to start a funny line of greeting cards Anon: like b-day cards for DAD that say things like: Dad, even though you left my Mom and started a whole new family with someone who hates me, I still think of the one memory I have of you and it makes me less sad every year. Anon: stuff like that Anon: or Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  As the years go by I hope the guilt you feel about my childhood lessens.

Jill:  Or alternatively, we could come up with a theme…pimps and hos anyone? Leather and lace? Eurotrash??? Flashbacks to frattasticness!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (j/k...mostly)

Ash: I forgot all about the secret caf! Anne: Remember when we were SOOOOOO proud for sneaking into it?? Ash: How did we get there?  Was it down some stairs?  Were we drunk?? Anne: OMG, I can't believe you don't remember. Ash: My brain has atrophied, it makes me sad. Like, I can PICTURE the secret caf, but I didn't remember the circumstances at all :-\ Anne: No, you remember way more than [I do]...it was just a pinnacle moment for me.

in response to an email titled "for the future..." Ner:  when i read the subject line, i started thinking this email would be about one of the following: -singles at age 40 -the downward real estate market -dealing with men's hair loss -safe sex -trade with China -how to cook for 1

The State of the Union Edition Win: Did you see Uncle Dick popping tic-tacs? Win: He is working on them right now. Win: Either that or he's playing with his dentures -- moving them around the inside of his mouth to pass the time. Ash: I love the shifty way pelosi moves her eyes back and forth before she decides whether to clap Win: You're right! Win: I love the new panning cameras- it's like watching an NFL game. Ash: I'm watching in HD, sucka!!!! Win: I think Pelosi is sucking on a certs now too. Ash: Nooo, she'd never

Andrew: Is that what you called them?  "Townies?" Ash:  Yeah--didn't you call them that at [GW]?  Oh, wait! Andrew:  Nobody's from Foggy Bottom.  The state department is from Foggy Bottom.

Chris:  (on his way out of the XM building) Hey, look.  There's P. Diddy. Ash: Really?! Chris: Yeah. Ash:  He's just Diddy now. Chris:  Whatever...  There's like a whole fleet of escalade limousines!

Anne: you should write a book on smoothly transitioning out of a job.  You'd make millions! Ash: You know I love to transition!!!  Which is so weird, because I fear change... Anne: Chapter 1: The first step toward change: Buy a binder Ash: Epilogue:  SO LONG, SUCKAS! Anne: he he.  Double-barrel optional.

Mama G: He took [the 60-100 bats found in our attic in Williamsburg] to Richmond and released them.  I asked if they might find their way back because they have a kind of homing device, and he said probably not because he took them so far and they would find a new home with a new colony. Ash: probably not?  greeeeat

Sarah:  Dude, when is the public going to draw the line on the size of computer screens? It's getting OOC! I hope everyone's not reading this [email] right now on your gargantuan monitor.

Sarah G: so, look what dad wrote:    Sarah G: So, get this.   I got an email that I    will be going up before the captains board    [for a promotion even though I'm not really    in the Army].  How amusing is that!    Dad: How cool!  You go girl!! Sarah G: did you know that dad says "you go girl??"

Will V: Goldson has a pocket protector. HARD CORE! Ash: he's suiting up. he's one step closer to taking over the world! Will V: he's like one of those villans in the early Bond movies Ash: wait, does this mean you can get pocket protectors from the supply store? Will V: maybe.....I might have to invest in one.  just joking.  sort of.

GOP Nate: what's up? GOP Nate: i know, before you say it, i mean other than your poll numbers

Keya: Dude the Wren Cross debate made it onto Pat Robertson's 700 Club.  That just shows you how ridiculous the evangelical lobby at WM is. Keya: shame on me though for flipping through channels at 2:00 on a weekday! Ash: WAIT--you were WATCHING that madness?  you saw it with your own eyes?? Keya: well, for like 2 minutes Keya: I was flipping!

Ash: so, i mean, you know.... if she's UNHAPPY, then that's bad Rooker: right. Ash: but if she's just, ya know, not happy, then i think that's okay Rooker: ...if she's just 'struggling' with the job sitch and missing college Rooker: welcome to the club Ash: EXACTLY! Ash: [Rooker]'s our president!

Ash: let's do it!  nns nns nns nns nns Mere: i've never heard vocal percussion written out quite like that...go ash ;) Ash: that was me dropping my techno beat

Rooker: somedays.... Rooker: like when my boss & i go to lauriol plaza and drink a pitcher of margaritas Rooker: i wonder why i want to leave my job.... Ash: hahaha, are you drizzo? Rooker: i wouldn't say drizzo Rooker: i would say tizipsy

Kendra: I know this will make you crazy Ash: haha, i saw that.  that's pretty tame for gwyneth Kendra: how about this Ash: oh yeah, i TOTE saw that Kendra: I bet that BURNED your cookies Ash: my *ss was def chapped

Ash: i'm watching the rooster egg video Ash: NOT OKAY Ash: you were pretty bad at it Ash: omg, the guy next to you is INSANE JC1: i know JC1: i sucked JC1: but i tied for first JC1: got a tshirt Ash: hahahahahahahaha Ash: "double weeners!"

Mom:  And this guy has the nerve to get into the fray at W&M?  He is so dishonest and immoral!!! Ash: But don't worry, he's prayed to God about what an ***hole he is, so he's fine!

Ash: is height a requirement? John: no, but i do like them tall John: music fan does help Ash: ok.  just updating the files :-) John: lol are you matchmaking already? Ash: already?  you mean STILL

Jen: you know... if they end up putting the f'ing cross back Jen: someone should steal it Jen: and sell it on ebay Ash: i nominate Sarah Jen: WE should steal it and GIVE it to sarah for xmas. Jen: or Anne [M.] - then it'd be out of the country! Ash: you have a brilliant criminal mind

Keya: I know dude.  There's like no regulation on pet food. Keya: Maybe that's why my cat's so g*ddamned fat.

JennM: so freddy tells me you've done some design work JennM:  new career move? Ash: just pro bono stuff for now :-) JennM:  you'll have to send me your portfolio JennM: i'm all for Bono, myself